Monday, February 26, 2007

Steve Jobs And Oliver Valentine Sprint For The Green Apple

It was going to be a much anticipated Oscars. Steve Jobs was planning the launch of the Apple iphone in front of millions. It was the Music Playing Wireless Phone To Die For. There were a few glitzes that would be a snitch to overcome, but no problem. Apple and Jobs weren't concerned at all. In fact, they were so confident that they had chosen the Oscars as the Place To Tell The World.

Oliver Valente of Sprint, however, welcomed the challenge. They had been sellling songs, ringtones, videos and other data services for some time now, and their success could be counted in the millions. At $2.50 per song, 13 million songs had been downloaded, but Sprint wasn't about to rest on their laurels. They were well aware that the Apple iphone was going to sell for around the $5-6oo dollar mark and that it represented a very real threat to their profits. Nevertheless, Valente was quoted as saying that they looked forward to some real competition in the Music Space.

Jobs quoted The Beatles. He said, "We know you want a Revolution, well, you know, we all want to change the world, and Roll Up, Roll Up for the mystery tour" His product, he said, was revolutionary and magical. Bring on Mayfair and Park Lane, and lets see what you can do, Mr Valentine Sprint.




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Saturday, February 24, 2007

Lots Of Walking Paths, Restful Moments and Comfartable Rooms

"Not only tourists are coming in our village to get a wonderful stay with a lot of walking paths and restful moments, but also working and buisness people, who like to come to Larochette after their work and have a pleasant rest. After your dinner or your walking, come to the bar-lounge and take a drink and have small talk with your friends. Or watch a soccer game or a tennisgame, a video, DVD , or just read a book or a newspaper. Society games are available."

Julian was on a mission. Here was yet another delightfully written hotel blurb that got the picture across beautifully. A wonderful stay was had by all, be it tourist or business, and there was plenty of walking to be done before reading, writing and arithmetic in the comfortable hotel's lounge. Not forgetting drinks and good food from the bar and kitchen.

Mary Hitler was on a mission of her own. A nose mission. Her mother insisted that she was going to die from cancer, as well as lose most of her nose. Mary was long-suffering and diligent. Her family, who were still recovering from the killing of the dinosaur pinata, were understandably compassionate.

"We'll miss you without your nose", they lamented. "You won't be the same without your nose."
Hermione was secretly gleeful. She had the nose to end all noses and Mary Hitler's nose was getting in the way.
"Hope she gets most of it cut off," she confided to Captain Caveman. "She's gonna look awful. It might even be leprosy, and we'll have to isolate her with her swag."

Mary Hitler held her head high and her nose in the air. If this was going to be the nose to end all noses, she would hold it aloft. She snuffed the battle with delight. This was not going to go easily. She would hold onto her nose for as long as was nosly possible.

Tuesday was proud of her mother and her nose. After all, she had a nose just like it, and needed all the tips in order to hang on to it for as long as possible.






Friday, February 23, 2007

Candy Perfume Girl Searches For The Best Hotel

The hotel les jardins du President invites you to a journey through another land, through new emotions. Modernity and authentic style blend with all simplicity, to offer a great symphonie of colours and impressions. In a very personal way, each room embraces a universe of well-being.

During your stay you will experience the spirit of world adventure, you will savour the opulence and the refinement of the Gustavian era, and coté jardin, you will enter into a world of simple but refined pleasures. Enveloped by veil of softness, you will be immersed in the tranquility of the garden and the gettable flavours of deliate heartfelt cuisine.

Rediscover the flavours of yesterday, and be enthralled by the verdant surroundings of the jardins du President! Just a few steps from the city centre, you can savour the delights of the garden and be carried away by the festive rhythm of aromas and colaurs. Far away from the hubbub of every day life, the surroundings and the cuisine guarantee a complete invigorating change of scene. Authenticity and fineesse, enhance by a pinch of fine herbs freshly picked in the kitchen garden, will give you the opportunity to explore a universe of gastronomic pleasures.

Candy thought it all sounded pretty spacy and far out. She wasn't sure about the delicate heartfelt cuisine, cos she was a pretty down to earth sort of a girl. She liked her flavours to be rich and tasteful and full of flavor. Delicate and heartfelt sounded a bit wishy washy in her mind. She didn't mind the idea of being immersed in the tranquility of the garden. Anyone who had been through what she had in the last three years needed to be immersed in the tranquility of anybodys garden, is what she thought about it all. She Wanted to savour the delights of the garden and be carried away by the festive rhythms of aromas and colours. The guarantee of a completely invigorating change of scene appealed to her mightily, and the pinch of fresh herbs picked fresh from the kitchen garden was a taste of her Australian home. She couldn't wait to have the opportunity to explore the universe of gastronomic pleasures. Where was this place?
It must cost a fortune to have the offers that it had. Candy Perfume Girl didn't care. She would pay it. She would pay for all her family and friends. Everyone needed to have these promises.

She was so glad to be able to write about European Hotels where everyone would be able to have everything that they needed and everyone would be happy ever after. JulianFairfaxMayhem.com.au.org.net. the place for Us.


Thursday, February 22, 2007

Online Dating? You Gotta Be Kiddidng!

Some of us are lonely, and some of the rest of us can take advantage of our lonely state. But now, there are kind and wonderful people who want to help. They have set up a Free Online Dating service, that's right, no charge. 100% freee, and you can leave your credit card in your back pocket, where it's safe and sound.

& you thought that free love went out with the Beatles and the sixties and the hippie movement. Nope, free love is alive and well and waiting to Just Say Hi.

Online Dating. The Black Shadow had been searching for his lady love for years now. He thought at one stage that he had found her. She was sweet and pretty and loved the same things that he did, like push bike riding and motor bike riding and earned her own money. Yet it turned out to be fake and fantastical, and basically she was leading him up the garden path. He happily went, only to find himself lost and alone and saddened and glum and unhappy. Shadow, Online Dating can help you.

This is the place where relationships that matter can be started. Ongoing, wonderful, lovely relationships that provide comfort and love and company and companionship can be yours. Spread the word. Are you looking for love? Are you looking in all the right places? JustsayHi.





Storage Concierge? Dot Whomem? & Wherem?

Storage Concierge. Get a Quote for Free.

All of know that accumulating stuff in this day and age is easy peasy. Too easy for words. The art lies in getting rid of the stuff and travelling light. Ulrich Chevalier, for example, had managed to downscale all of his belongings from eight boxes down to two, and he intended to halve that. Ulrich was an unusual person, however, and didn't understand Julian Fairfax Mayhem wanting to stuff an attic full of unused, sentimental articles that all had stories. She had once tried hard to get rid of stuff. She held up a small, round and unattractive box and said to Larry, "This ugly thing can go."
Larry replied that he had bought that for his mother when he was a small boy of seven. Julian gave up getting rid of anything from that point on. It all stays, she determined, and we just need a place. A Place Was Found. Not everyone has the room for an attic, which is where Storage Concierge comes into it.

Storage Concierge. Get a quote for free. Not matter where you live, or what you are doing or where you plan to go. Storage Concierge is the space for you!

Storage Concierge. Get a quote for free. Storage Concierge is the space for you!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Ulrich Chevalier Hits The Scene

Ulrich arrived by plane carrying his briefcase which he intended to leave at his mothers house whilst he traveled the Australian continent. He had minimized his belongings from eight boxes to two, and was preparing to halve that. He had plans, a girlfriend and a bucket load of guilt, will travel. He was tall and lean, like a whippet, and refused to eat much. He liked acting and tennis and reading fantasy novels that took him out of the real, hard, difficult world. Larry thought he looked like his father, but Ulrich was taller and leaner with more artistic looking hands. His attitude and demeanor was cynical, and slightly superior. He moved through life in a glum and dark fashion, wanting to believe that he could do the things that he did that went against his conscience. He was witty and funny when around the people who knew and loved him, and nervous and clumsy when around those that judged him and criticized him. He was a very loving person who was desperate for the love of a good woman, as many men are. He seemed to attract spoiled girls from well off families who were able to devote their times to the arts and music, and the ability to think well of themselves, thanks to the hard work of their mothers and fathers who had stayed together for the sake of the children. In these last days that were critical and hard to deal with, that was no mean feat.

Julian Fairfax Mayhem had given birth to Ulrich in small and mean circumstances. She had been determined to give birth at the small and mean hovel that they lived in, in the small and mean country town. But there were difficulties. The difficulties had been with the birth of the twins pre Ulrich, and that had decided Julian to leave it all to the last minute, but to go to the country town hospital. The pains came thick and fast until finally, as she gasped and panted and discovered the neighboorhood kids looking round the bedroom door, she felt it was time. She wore Caro's over-sized purple t-shirt, and squatted on a towel as soon as she was shown her bed. The nurse had been slow and casual up to this point, but realised that entry into this world was imminent. Julian was ushered ignominiously into the tiled room with not much in it of comfort.

Ulrich was born with a broken collar bone not much later. He was a contented baby, whose bones knitted quickly, and was much loved by the family. His mum took pics of his neck as he was bathed in the small, green, plastic basin, lovingly. His start was good.

Families One Two Three And Four

The little baby girl was taken away from Edie, who had been trying to steal her, and was given to a stern and harsh woman, thin and bony who was looking to make money via all and any avenues. A little like the woman from Les Miserables who had reduced the mother to selling her hair and her teeth, but still didn't look after the child. This little miserable woman, who had earnt Edie's little girl by default, had little patience, and when the kid needed the toilet but was too fearful to ask,would grab the little kid by the arm, sighing with exasperation, and push her ignominiously into a cupboard, telling her that there was a large hole nearby and that if she moved she would fall into it. The little kid dared not make a move. Apparently, in later life, Shotgun Ivy had taken the bony woman to court and removed the little kid from her jurisdiction, but the damage had been done.

The mother took back over. Life was hard, she continued to swim for a living and take the kid along with her to the shows. The kid had a memory of watching one aqua show in particular from the upper story of the pool, and swimming along with her mother, except that she was on the floorboards and not in the water.

It was a hard life and best not remembered. Especially the Scottish Robert Marine Bruce Episode. This Bob wasn't me Uncle, he was me bung Dave Boyfriend! Woe is me and Mary Hitler.

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Monday, February 19, 2007

Bic The Gardener And Parker The Chauffeur

A Very Long Time Ago, in a galaxy far, far away..... actually it was about thirty or so years ago and it was in this galaxy, this planet, this Earth and England.

Showing on BBC1 at 9:00 pm was, and probably still is, the Nine O'Clock News.

Showing on BBC2 at 9:00 pm was, and is no longer as Pamela Anderson is now very happily married to Billy Connolly and has taken up psychology in place of comedy, Not The Nine O'Clock News.

In one particular skit, the ball point pen has been invented, and the inventors lived in a lovely, big, castle of a house with gardeners and chauffeurs and housemaids. In other words, they were very rich.

They are also puzzled because their idea for a ball point pen has some how leaked out into the outside world, and they are trying to figure it out.

"Who could have done it?"
"There's no one else here, except for Bic the Gardener and Parker the Chauffeur."

BIC Promotional Pens.

Bic pens are still around, doing the job. Need to write and you don't have your laptop? Grab yourself a bic. Available at all newsagents and supermarkets, Bic Pens are the Pens For You.

Forget the chauffeur, go for the gardener every time!

BIC Promotional Pens.

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Saturday, February 17, 2007

"Whooo Are You", said the Caterpillar to Alice.

Edgar was writing poetry. He was perusing life at the park and kids on the swings and contemplating the sheer despair and meaninglessness of life when the end on his pencil broke off.
"Blast it," he muttered, thinking of Lord Byron and his search for the meaning of life. He would just have to wait until he got home and could pick up his mouse. He pushed his bratz higher and higher until she screamed for him to stop.

"Stop, daddy, stop", she yelled.

Daddy stopped.

Julian was intrigued with the growing cast of characters. People were entering the blog who had never existed before. Heathen Stinkypoo, Rapunzel Merryweather, Rumpold Stiltskin, Nadene, amongst others. Ruby was disgusted with the whole affair and decided that she would go back to reading Shakespeare and the bible.

Best Western - Charlemagne or Champagne?

"Whatever your reasons for coming to Charlemagne are, The Best Western Hotel should be your first choice in accommodation. It is a multistory building with rooms catering to couples and traveling singles. First priority with any hotel is cleanliness, followed closely by a caring, helpful staff. Staff here are not only all of the above, they are also multilingual, understanding that we live in a global village nowadays. Rates are highly competitive and location is very attractive. A mere 25 minutes from the airport and virtually next door to the trains which can take you anywhere in France."

Julian wanted Paul to understand that this was a very difficult ask. To write something unique about a hotel, when there were 42,00 of these hotels in 80 countries, was tricky. What were people looking for when they logged on & searched? Obviously for some it was cost. Reasonable rates. Others were looking for luxury, so that counted the Charlemagne Best Western out. It wasn't exactly Fawlty Towers, but it ain't the Sheraton either. Comfort. This hotel boasted comfort. Leather couches, attractive verandah dining, champagne sipping at dusk with the sun setting as your partner whispers sweet nothings in your ears, or your business partner discussed high finance in matter of fact tones, BW Charlemagne offered both. A fine restaurant offering traditional fare was neither here nor there. The place abounded with french restaurants, & lets face it, travelers like to sample the fare, so the odds were on that guests would find themselves in the restaurant at some stage or another. Swimming pool? No mention of that. However, basic, comfortable and reasonable and helpful and friendly said a lot. Julian would stay there when she went to visit her daughter, Julianwilliam. Julianwilliam lived in Paris in a small, expensive room that overlooked the Notre Dame. She was finishig her linguistic degree at Le Sorbonne in French, Spanish and, hopefully, English. She had a job in a French bakery where the staff spoke English to each other and French to the customers. She was happy, and felt like she had come home.

Julian was sorry, she would have liked the job of writing about lots of hotels. She liked hotels and stayed in lots of them so she knew what was good about a hotel and what was bad. She also ran a good kitchen, so understood food. She was very particular about restaurants and kitchens. Could Paul use her? She had no idea.

It had been particularly interesting to discover that the historical figure, Charlemagne had been made the Holy Roman Emperor in 811 by Pope Leo III because he was helping the Popes, and had then offered to marry Irene who was not recognised as somebody important because she was a woman. She, however, thought that he was a barbarian nobody from northern Europe and wasn't interested and told him so in no uncertain terms.


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Tuesday, February 13, 2007

money, money, money, it's a rich man's world



& then there was the man who lived in New Orleans and was coming to Australia to invest in property who was invited to dinner in Bellingen, and was going to charter a plane so that he could leave immediately after dinner with the people he had met on the internet

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Why Ancestor Worship Is Displeasing To Jehovah God

Elly: A friend of mine is going back to China to worship his dead ancestors, and I'd like to talk to him about it, but I'm not sure what angle to take.

Denene: It's difficult for us as westerners, because it is so foreign to us. Our dead are buried in the local cemetery, & we put flowers on the graves once a year. Did you notice in Vietnam, when you left the cities and drove through the countryside, and the rice paddies and the villages, that the houses had large, beautifully coloured and ornate mausoleums in the front gardens?

E: Yes, I did.

D: Often you could see an altar, where incense was burned & food was left. This is because of the belief that those ancestors could help them or hurt them. So establish from the bible with Ming that the dead are conscious of nothing at all. I must read you the James Moffat's version, "Throw yourself into any pursuit that may appeal to you, for there is no pursuit, no plan, no knowledge or intelligence within the grave where you are going". Establish that with Ming, and then talk about this idea of 'worship'. Read the definition of ancestor worship from the reasoning book, Elly. What does it say.

E: (reads) The practice of honoring & venerating dead ancestors (ceremonially or otherwise) in the belief that they are conscious in an invisible realm and can help or bring harm to the living and are therefore to be appeased. Not a bible teaching.

D: So. The practice of honoring and venerating. What does it mean to honor.

E: To respect?

D: Mmm.. To respect or esteem. And venerate?

E: Same?

D: Yes. To treat with great respect or reverence. And reverence carries with it the idea of deep respect. We know that this should be directed to Jehovah God, have a look at John 4:23, 24.
(reads). Notice in verse 23, that the true worshipers will worship with spirit and truth, and in verse 24 must worship with spirit and truth. Let's look at what it means to worship with spirit. What do you think?

E: Holy spirit?

D: Anything else?

E: I guess our hearts must be full of faith and love and appreciation and gratitude.

D: What about worshiping with truth?

E: Accurate knowledge of the bible.

D: And?

E: By rejecting religious falsehoods and by doing God's will.

D: What are some of the ways that we manifest that worship?

E: Meeting together.

D: Mmm. Singing together would be another. Uniting in prayer. Taking part in discussing his Word. These are all ways that we are expressing our love for him in pure worship. Have you ever thought that we are worshiping Jehovah when we go from door to door and speak to others about him? Our worship touches every aspect of our lives, doesn't it. Our family life, our secular life, our dealings with others, our recreation and our private lives. Jesus was showing that Samaritan woman that worship was not simply a physical location, and it wasn't just about zealousness, but rather it is a new method of worship that is based on the true nature of God. It is an aspect of worship that goes beyond the things seen. It would be nice to leave Ming with a positive thought from the bible about the hope for the future for him and his family, including his dead ancestors. Can you think of a scripture that does that?

E: John 5:28,29.

D: Let's read it. Would you like to do that?

E: Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice and come out, those who did good things to a resurrection of life, those who practiced vile things to a resurrection of judgement.

D: Lovely. That paves the way for a return visit as well, & gives him something to think about whilst he is in China.