Will The Real Mr Lovely Goodness Please Stand UP

"Calling Mr Lovely Goodness, 'Mr Lovely Goodness' was a premature ejaculation," ejaculated Mary. She and Julian were sitting overlooking a large, wide and peaceful river and sipping their morning coffees. A crowd had gathered, and a woman with a check board.
"I'm going to case the joint," Julian muttered, and slipped into the open door, and perched uncomfortably on what appeared to be church pews. Her right buttock overhung the wooden shelf like structure, and she wasn't comfortable, but decided to grit her teeth and grin and bear it. The slim, pinkly adorned woman next to her smelt strongly of BO, so she tried not to breathe too deeply. She was pleased to see that it was her favourite magistrate sitting at the bench, the man with a thousand faces. 'Mr Potato Head', Mary called him later, but Julian didn't agree. "Mr Potato Head has bits that you add to the face, this man is elastic," and she demonstrated a couple of his elastic faces. She pushed out her lips and screwed her eyebrows together. Mary had to agree.
He couldn't find her paperwork, of which Mary had objected. She also objected to the fact that the police report had not told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. The police man was still angry at her belligerance, and her superiority of mind. He found her totally objectionable. He had got her age wrong by one year, and Mary had sniffingly told him that every year mattered. He had muttered under his breath. Her solicitor had mentioned that the truth hadn't been told in the report. That she had been pulled over and then let go. That hadn't been mentioned. He mentioned that when they were asking her the questions on the form, as in 'what is your name', 'do you have any scars', she simply removed her blouse, in order to display the scars under her recently surgically reset breasts. "Do you want me to put that in the report?" "No." the solicitor didn't think so.
Meanwhile, the real, genuine Mr Lovely Goodness had lived a selfless life in the Balkans. He had married and spoken to whoever would listen about the kingdom of God. That was how he had spent his life. He had recently 'passed on', and was guaranteed a place in the biblical description of the 'new system'.
The case had been moved forward to April.

Mary's Rear End Had Blown A Front Gasket Yet Again

Mary was struggling with her car. She loved it so much and yet had had so many things go wrong. Her speakers had stopped working, as had her horn. The colour was wrong and she didn't have enough outfits and shoes to match. The front end looked like the rear end. She was pulling her hair out, when she discovered an online car repair service. She didn't have to go anywhere or do anything, and all would be well. She sighed in deep relief. No longer would she have to rely on Edgar to fix it. No matter what the make of the car, auto repair would be there. She had noticed, for example, that her friend had googled http://repairpal.com/toyota-camry-2002 and come up with solutions. The fact that Hermione didn't own a Toyota Camry and was only after checking her engine light didn't matter to her. She was able to google http://repairpal.com/check-engine-light and find an answer for that as well. She made a mental note. 'Check engine light', she thought.

It didn't matter where she lived, there were auto shops everywhere, even Chigao. There were people with similair questions and she could keep her records safe and secure and sound. She could hardly believe it. She continued to insist that she was a work of fact and not of fiction. Her car, however, belied the truth.

Meanwhile, Mary was cruising the Atlantic in a bikini and feeling the cold. She purveyed the buffet's with a critical eye and tucked into the garlic snails with gusto. Mary was in seventh heaven, and her car was the last thing on her mind. http://repairpal.com/ had more than helped to settle her mind.

A Cold Blooded, Black Hearted Monster

"You lying hound", she said to Basil. Basil was actually telling the truth for once, but had gone past the point of no return.
Clarence Butterfield, however, had shot his 21 year old daughter and popped her in the freezer wrapped in plastic. She was only discovered because the power went off in his motorhome.
His defence was that he found her dead on the floor of the motorhome and he kept her because it said in the bible that if you have faith and the bones of the loved one it is possible to resurrect her.
"I love her," he said, "I couldn't bear to be apart from her."
Is he mad?
Or is he lying?

Sveetie & Julian In The Not So Distant Future

and then there's the

Brother's Grimm and then there's Hans Christian Anderson.

The Elves and the Shoemaker

The Elves and the Shoemaker

got that wrong as well. ah, me..There was once a shoemaker, who worked very hard and was very honest: but still he could not earn enough to live upon; and at last all he had in the world was gone, save just leather enough to make one pair of shoes.

Then he cut his leather out, all ready to make up the next day, meaning to rise early in the morning to his work. His conscience was clear and his heart light amidst all his troubles; so he went peaceably to bed, left all his cares to Heaven, and soon fell asleep. In the morning after he had said his prayers, he sat himself down to his work; when, to his great wonder, there stood the shoes all ready made, upon the table. The good man knew not what to say or think at such an odd thing happening. He looked at the workmanship; there was not one false stitch in the whole job; all was so neat and true, that it was quite a masterpiece.

The same day a customer came in, and the shoes suited him so well that he willingly paid a price higher than usual for them; and the poor shoemaker, with the money, bought leather enough to make two pairs more. In the evening he cut out the work, and went to bed early, that he might get up and begin betimes next day; but he was saved all the trouble, for when he got up in the morning the work was done ready to his hand. Soon in came buyers, who paid him handsomely for his goods, so that he bought leather enough for four pair more. He cut out the work again overnight and found it done in the morning, as before; and so it went on for some time: what was got ready in the evening was always done by daybreak, and the good man soon became thriving and well off again.

One evening, about Christmas-time, as he and his wife were sitting over the fire chatting together, he said to her, ’I should like to sit up and watch tonight, that we may see who it is that comes and does my work for me.’ The wife liked the thought; so they left a light burning, and hid themselves in a corner of the room, behind a curtain that was hung up there, and watched what would happen.

As soon as it was midnight, there came in two little naked dwarfs; and they sat themselves upon the shoemaker’s bench, took up all the work that was cut out, and began to ply with their little fingers, stitching and rapping and tapping away at such a rate, that the shoemaker was all wonder, and could not take his eyes off them. And on they went, till the job was quite done, and the shoes stood ready for use upon the table. This was long before daybreak; and then they bustled away as quick as lightning.

The next day the wife said to the shoemaker. ’These little wights have made us rich, and we ought to be thankful to them, and do them a good turn if we can. I am quite sorry to see them run about as they do; and indeed it is not very decent, for they have nothing upon their backs to keep off the cold. I’ll tell you what, I will make each of them a shirt, and a coat and waistcoat, and a pair of pantaloons into the bargain; and do you make each of them a little pair of shoes.’

The thought pleased the good cobbler very much; and one evening, when all the things were ready, they laid them on the table, instead of the work that they used to cut out, and then went and hid themselves, to watch what the little elves would do.

About midnight in they came, dancing and skipping, hopped round the room, and then went to sit down to their work as usual; but when they saw the clothes lying for them, they laughed and chuckled, and seemed mightily delighted.

Then they dressed themselves in the twinkling of an eye, and danced and capered and sprang about, as merry as could be; till at last they danced out at the door, and away over the green.

The good couple saw them no more; but everything went well with them from that time forward, as long as they lived.

Whoops

whoops.

Julian only meant to post the Australi/Europe map and interesting facts. However, now the other stuff is there............um. Apologies, Eelco?

oh, & btw, the frog lives in the hollow in the spa where the buttons live. The cover covers the edges apart from the buttons, where the frog has found himself a hollow. Hence, Frog Hollow. Julian is surprised to find that he likes it warm. That's amphibian for you..........

The Elves and the Shoemaker

There is a Hans Christian fairy story that it used in marriage, or at least the wife calls upon it.
She recounts about the poor shoemaker who finds clothes made for him and his wife in the mornings. He is bemused, and so stays up late one night to watch and discovers little people who come and make these beautiful handmade clothes. He wants to thank them, and so he leaves food and small leather boots. They accept with glee, but never come back. The moral of the story is if one is poked, accept the poking without asking for more. Take what is given with appreciation and don't push for more. Mind you, let's find out what it means to accept the food and the little leather boots and never come back.........that's slightly different.
There was a time in a distant past and a distant country place

Photos and stories from Australia — friends & family only — love, Eelco

March 10, 2010

Al Di Meola

Guitar legend Al Di Meola played at Town Hall yesterday. I was rather surprised to see an artist of such fame in such a small town, but apparently the local sound guy (a girl named Annie) convinced them that Bellingen is a cool place to be. Particularly the virtuoso accordion player Fausto Beccalossi made an incredible impression.

I illegally recorded a little soundbite on my iPhone.

Al Di Meola World Sinfonia

Line-up: Al Di Meola – guitars, Fausto Beccalossi – accordion, Gumbi Ortiz – percussion, Peter Kaszas – drums, Kevin Seddiki – guitar, Victor Miranda – bass

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4$ Salad

This is the small salad at Hearthfire Bakery. Garden salad with avocado and feta and grilled veggie salad with eggplant, tomato and choko’s. Naturally it’s 100% organic. 4 Aussie dollars is €2,70.

If there’s any establishment in Holland that can beat this, I’ll change my ticket and fly back tonight…!

4$ Salad

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March 7, 2010

Frogs

What is green and makes a hell of a noise?

These buggers start making noise at dawn, together with the crickets and the arrival of the mozzies (mosquitos) and the flight of the flying foxes from across the river.

Frog

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Raw Food

This weekend I attended some uncooking classes at Denene’s health and living foods retreat. They demonstrated how to make key lime pie and raw cashew nut cream, sprouted choc fudge cake with macadamia cream and cashew nut gelato. And last but not least a green smoothie with freshly picked greens from the side of the road river.

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March 6, 2010

For the Birds

All sorts of birds gather on the telephone lines in front of the house. My favourite is the regal Kookaburra, which the Aussies like to call laughing bird.

When they ruffle themselves up they’re pretty big—I almost mistook one for an owl the other day. This picture was taken this morning.

Kookaburra on Telephone Line

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March 5, 2010

John’s Garden

‘John the Gardener’ is our neighbour. He has a wealth of knowledge about gardening and is often willing to share. His bio organic garden is very impressive.

He provides mixed salads, with about 20 different varieties and some edible flowers, for a few local grower’s markets and for his neighbours too!

Inspired by a series of photos that Nicole shot—she used to be a professional photographer—I gave myself the assignment to imitate that series. This is a preview of the results.

I also made a little slideshow that you can watch fullscreen.

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March 4, 2010

Gelato Bar

The Gelato Bar consistently has the best coffee in town. Hence it is my office of choice. They also have home made gelato. Good stuff!

Ice Cream at the Bellingin Gelato Bar

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March 2, 2010

Big Country

This is Europe superimposed over Australia. Have I travelled Australia? I feel I’ve only scratched the surface (but then the same holds true for Europe).

Look at the map and consider these numbers: Netherlands – 16,5 million people, Australia, 22 million people.

It’s been said that in Europe 200 kilometers is a long way, while in Australia 200 years is a long time.

Big country, big ideas—Australians invented notepads (1902), the surf lifesaving reel (1906), aspirin (1915), the pacemaker (1926), penicillin (1940) the Hills Hoist clothesline (1946), the plastic disposable syringe (1949), the wine cask (1965), the bionic ear (1978), dual-flush toilet flush (1980) anti-counterfeiting technology for banknotes (1992) and long-wearing contact lenses (1999).

posted by Eelco Menkveld The Hague 2010
thank you Eelco.

http://randompaul.blogspot.com A Tribute

"As a part of my job, I tell stories and teach people how to tell stories. So I thought I would share two main tips for creating a solid, entertaining and clear story.

Tip Number One

The structure of a story really hasn’t changed since the times of the Greeks when Aristotle came up with a format that he named after himself; The Aristotelian Structure. Image two axes, the one going up and down which we will call “Dramatic Action” and the horizontal one is “Time”.

Now Aristotle started the dramatic action low and it rises through time. He called this “Conflict”. At the peak, something happens. He called this “Crisis”. Then there is a downward slope which the French decided to call “Dénouement” because they were far too pretentious just to say “wrapping things up”.

Of course, not all stories follow this shape. Becket’s Waiting For Godot, about two guys waiting for another guy called Godot, who never arrives, is a flat line. Nothing happens!

Kafka’s Metamorphosis, about a dull accountant who wakes up one morning to discover he has turned into a cockroach, starts low on the dramatic action axis and just keeps dropping as his life gets worse.

However, the classic story, say the story of our Lord, follows Aristotle’s laws. Jesus is having trouble with the Jews, with the Pharisees and with the Romans (conflict), they arrest him and nail him to a cross (crisis) and his friends wait around pretty sad then he comes back, gives man self-determination which kind of negates God (Dénouement) leaving the rest of us to kind of wait around for the second coming, a bit like Becket’s characters. Of course, if we were Buddhists, we may have the opportunity to come back as a cockroach.

I wonder which Buddhist came up with the laws of reincarnation. According to them, after we die we get reborn as another sentient being, their definition of sentient being being something that can think other than computers, robots and those weird things that tell you when your turkey is cooked. So we could come back as a cockroach but not a saltine cracker. If you came back as a cockroach you obviously did something bad in your previous life. To come back as say Tom Cruise, you would have to have been pretty good in your previous life which would piss the Scientologists up no end.

What if you could come back as a non-sentient thing, like a saltine cracker, what would you have to do in your life as a saltine cracker to improve your lot?

I figure if you were smeared with come tasty Tasmanian Brie and willingly woofed down at a party in Darlinghurst with a nice Chablis, you may come back as a mango or a fairly attractive turnip. If you were crushed up and sprinkled between the sheets in some high school camp prank then your next life would be as beer mat or a sanitary napkin (as opposed to a non-sanitary napkin?). If, by some odd chance, you were the first solid food that a 18 month old Rwandan child had had in 6 months, then you might crack it to a minor sentient being like a tape worm of a cockroach.

I think at this point we can be fairly sure that Kafka’s accountant was not a particularly nice person.

Tip Number Two

Try not to get side-tracked."


Paul Tolton.

One For Sveetie Babushka....& Mr Lovely Goodness, Hermione is Outta Here....

Fry bacon in your stew pot or Dutch oven until crispy. Remove the bacon. Leave the fat. Cook the onions and garlic in the fat until they are tender. Remove the onions and garlic. Leave the fat. Brown the beef in the fat.

Add the flour add stir until the beef is coated. Gradually stir in about a cup of the beer. Add the bay leaf, brown sugar, salt, thyme and pepper and stir. Mix in the onions and garlic. Add enough beer to completely cover. Drink the rest.

Boil, reduce heat, cover and simmer for 1 to 1/2 hours - until the beef is tender. Remove the bay leaf and stir in the vinegar.

It's Flemish. Forget the Swiss and move over the Dutch.

Memories. MIsty Water Kinda Memmmorreeees.

Once upon a time, Giles, (Paul, and Julian, (denene) were walking across a football oval. They had been drinking something at a club that they had never been to before or since. They were talking, despite the pleasures of the Socratian bodies not yet having faded, although it was to Giles mind that Julian was drawn to.
"What do people like to talk about, Julian?" Giles asked,
"Um," said Julian.
"Themselves," said Giles.
Julian pondered this and came to the conclusion that it was true.
Julian also recalled her first meeting with Giles. It was at a party held by a Scandinavian man, and Julian thought that Giles was possibly attracted to him. He ignored her completely, and there is nothing quite so compelling as to be ignored by someone's mind that you are drawn to.
Julian can still recall the rather amazing Swiss/Dutch casserole that he made. She asked him for the recipe and was impressed by the fact that it used beer in the stock.
Julian was now rather interested in this 30 + year recipe and wanted to find it. She was cooking food for some older Welsh freinds whose house had almost burnt down. This one would work, that and lamb shanks with Dorrigo mash potatoes.

Beloved Ba-Babo

The Editor From Hell.

Once upon there were 2 editors from hell. One lived close by and began his story by encouraging Juian to write again.
"Why?" she said, but she couldn't remember what he said. It was good enough advice to follow, however, so she began to write.
"You'll regret it," Stuart told him, but he didn't believe Stuart at first. Then he didn't like it and had the power to delete everything that she had written. Julian was incensed. She had thought him a freind and he didn't realise that this stuff was .............ahhhh, there's the rub. The words were hers and he had rubbed them out. How angry she had felt!
The other editor had given and then taken away, and then continued to push and prod because of a little thing called a google cache.
"It's still there," he said, again and again.
Julian had deleted and removed his attributed words, but it seems all to no avail.

This business was getting ridiculous. Can one really own words? bit like land really....

Roger Federer's defeat was in the paper before you could say 'by your leave', and it was on the internet even faster, as was Andy Murray and the England losing to Australia in cricket. The same paper reported that Naomi Campbell, the model for those not in the know, would be called to a court for war crimes in Africa as the recipient of a known blood diamond. Also noteworth was that the leading source of death in Korea for those between 20 and 30 was suicide. A young man with a good career in acting and singing had been found hanging by an electrical cord. His 62 year old father who is terminally ill will miss him. And last, but far from least, women who were raped in Rwanda during the

April and June of 1994, in which an estimated 800,000 Rwandans were killed in the space of 100 days.

One woman was raped on three occasions in different locations and by many different people, so her daughter wanted to know if she was Hutu or Tutsi. This mother loved her from the moment of her birth, whereas other women had problems with their offspring. They saw machetes and pain and hurt when they looked at their children. One woman considered flushing her baby down the latrine, but now walks the streets with him. He is 16 and still doesn't know his terrible origins.

and 51 horse skeletons were unearthed in a ditch in the Netherlands after a 17th century battle.
The pic is proving elusive.

and introducing Sveetie 'babushka' Manifold, who had been married before and had the 33 children to prove it.

Funny Aussie Boy

there's nothing like a son.

This is Not Australia.

The Name May Be Latin, But The Myths Remain The Same.

"She thinks we have a dream mother."
Julian fell back dramatically onto the couch with arms akimbo.
"Yeah," said Honey.
"Just confirms that it's all relative. Life, that is." Julian confirmed.
Cindi, who wasn't coping with her mother, cried as she described the relationship.

Life was coming thick and fast. Julian had filled out a questionaire which would tell her...she wasn't sure what, but Nikolas insisted. He was delighted with aspects of the results, which he told her over the mobile, with 900 kms between them, as she was buying, cooking and serving a family meal.
"This tells us our problems, difficulties and strengths."
"Um, can we talk about this later?" knowing that the chances were slim.
"Sure." He wasn't yet ready to admit to missing her.
He sent an email that suggested that Julian was a dynamo, but had equally negative connotations. Julian sighed and prepared herself.

She had MEMmed. And she had NLP'ed and colon hydrotherapied. She was still in a spin.

Nikolas, meanwhile, had been punched on the nose and been bloodied by a young, childhood friend.
"Pedaphile!" she had screamed in the street outside the house at about 9 pm. The young, separated from the mother of his children, father, who lived opposite, didn't take it to heart, although he had heard.
"Get out of my Face!" she screamed.
Nikolas stood his ground. 'She's talking to me like she talks to her kids,' he thought, as she started to count down from ten.
"TEN, NINE, EIGHT, SEVEN, SIX, FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE."

She clenched her fist, drew back her arm and with all of her strength punched Nickolas in the face.

He fell to the ground.

Julian waited a week and rang her. Julian was on the Gold Coast for family, health, leisure, business and pleasure reasons.
They hedged until finally Julian asked if she had apologised to Nikolas yet.
She hedged, until finally she stated that she wasn't going to take this abuse any more and hung up.

Julian didn't want to go home, but knew it was time.

MEM Phis Tennesse.....

The MEM method.

Hasn't worked yet.

Try, try, try and try again.

Persevere.

but, gratitude, John, thank you.

and much puzzlement at the need for the MEM with the people who used it.

Julian

opens coconuts wherever we go. Green smoothies rock.

Room With A View

and the photo doesn't do the view justice.

meanwhile, Mac has been punched on the nose by someone in need. His nose bled, his eye was blackened, his teeth were loosend and his elbow was grazed. He fell to the ground.

the girl who did the punching is not only unrepentent, but accusatory of being abused when she asked if she had apologised.

her situation looked bleak. especially where her young, impressionable boys were concerned.

people cared, God Cares, so all is not lost.

Snake in the Grass

Outback Australia where space between people and snakes is important.

Australian Storm. On the Road Again....

Outside of Wilcannia, Cheryl North had to pull over, the rain came down so hard.

just left of coonabarabran

is the Warrubungle National Park.

Bellingen Snippet

Julian had had a most interesting week.

soon........busy

or, to quote Christopher Robin, which confused Pooh and Piglet no end.

'gon away. backson.'

You Hair What You Eat?

Genetically Modified Soy Linked to Sterility, Infant Mortality

"This study was just routine," said Russian biologist Alexey V. Surov, in what could end up as the understatement of this century. Surov and his colleagues set out to discover if Monsanto's genetically modified (GM) soy, grown on 91% of US soybean fields, leads to problems in growth or reproduction. What he discovered may uproot a multi-billion dollar industry.

After feeding hamsters for two years over three generations, those on the GM diet, and especially the group on the maximum GM soy diet, showed devastating results. By the third generation, most GM soy-fed hamsters lost the ability to have babies. They also suffered slower growth, and a high mortality rate among the pups.

And if this isn't shocking enough, some in the third generation even had hair growing inside their mouths—a phenomenon rarely seen, but apparently more prevalent among hamsters eating GM soy.

In the US, 93% of soy products are GM. (genetically modified). (We're not talking fermented here, which is ok. Natto, miso, etc..) and I don't know the stats for Australia, but have no doubt it's alarming. When buying a number of watermelons from the local grocer, his words were,

"We only have the one's with seeds."

"Those are the one's I want,"

Seedless watermelon's? Since when was anything created without the ability to procreate?

And Today.

Julian spent the day in the Grafton Court House.

The magistrate summed up.

"This is a family that has been destroyed."

"We're your adopted children," said one of the 17 year old twin girls to Julian.
"I know," Julian said. She hadn't seen them for many years, but loved them still.

It was a case that involved the oldest son. The outcome was an AVO on him not to come near them for 5 years. This was apparently unusual.

Everyone was happy. Almost.

Mum said, "he will go and lick his wounds and plot and plan."

It was harrowing.

Beautiful Bellingen

Freezing Bananas

a

For the Behaviourally Impaired

When I get to Australia ...... I'll try to remember......

Mudbilly Takes a Dive

except that it wasn't a dive, it was a jump. After Daring Dan took a leap, Mudbilly decided to climb the rockface and also jump. She cooeed first, so that the beautiful and slim, red-headed, curly haired Copenhagen would look up, as would Julian. They were swimming in the waters below. The noise from the falls was incredible. They dutifully looked up, as Mudbilly jumped and, like Alice down the rabbit hole, fell and fell and fell.

"my bum hurts," she said, after it was all over.

Hugo Where I Go

It had been one 'hell' of a week. (We speak figuratively, as there is no 'hell').

Julian had been told by a freind that her boy at school had stumbled upon boys 'playing' with boys in the boys toilets. He had 'told'. He was now threatened by these 'boys' with rape. They were 12.

Julian was aghast.

Another friend had just been told by her 45 year old son that he had been raped since he was 14 by the councillor that she was paying for. He only told because the men who did it had committed suicide by hanging. She was, understandably, devastated, and had a bad back.

On a lighter note, without making light, the school kid with parents who were still together thought that the other kids with split families had it better off. They got 3 bedrooms, one with mum, one with dad and one with mum's boyfriend, plus they got to enjoy 'bookclub' twice as both mum and dad let her join and buy. The kid with the parents was miffed.

Her brother brought home his reader for the week. The book that he had to read with his parents and they had to 'tick' his homework book. It was called 'Unwedding', and was about a family where the parents shouted at each other. They agreed to have an unwedding. At the unwedding they both said 'They Don't", and they all lived happily ever after.

I ask you, is this musical walk breaking down?

The Lion and the Unicorn

Or

"I'll believe in you if you believe in me"

The Unicorn looked dreamily at Alice, and said `Talk, child.'

Alice could not help her lips curling up into a smile as she began: `Do you know, I always thought Unicorns were fabulous monsters, too? I never saw one alive before!'

`Well, now that we have seen each other,' said the Unicorn, `if you'll believe in me, I'll believe in you. Is that a bargain?'

`Yes, if you like,' said Alice.

`Come, fetch out the plum-cake, old man!' the Unicorn went on, turning from her to the King. `None of your brown bread for me!'

`Certainly -- certainly!' the King muttered, and beckoned to Haigha. `Open the bag!' he whispered. `Quick! Not that one -- that's full of hay!'

Haigha took a large cake out of the bag, and gave it to Alice to hold, while he got out a dish and carving-knife. How they all came out of it Alice couldn't guess. It was just like a conjuring trick, she thought.

The Lion had joined them while this was going on: he looked very tired and sleepy, and his eyes were half shut. `What's this!' he said, blinking lazily at Alice, and speaking in a deep hollow tone that sounded like the tolling of a great bell.

`Ah, what is it, now?' the Unicorn cried eagerly. `You'll never guess! I couldn't.'

The Lion looked at Alice wearily. `Are you animal -- or vegetable -- or mineral?' he said, yawning at every other word.

`It's a fabulous monster!' the Unicorn cried out, before Alice could reply.

`Then hand round the plum-cake, Monster,' the Lion said, lying down and putting his chin on his paws. `And sit down, both of you,' (to the King and the Unicorn): `fair play with the cake, you know!'

When Julian was just a little kid, her mother was jailed for trying to help a friend abort a baby, with the use of hot baths. She didn't know the details. Julian went to live with her grandmother and her grandmothers poodle, Bobo. She didn't understand why, but in the manner of all little kids simply accepted that this was the way of life now. Kids don' t bemoan their fates, they simply get on with it. One of her favourite books at that time was 'Alice in Wonderland'. She read it and read it and read it again. She read it so much that one particular exercise at school had the teacher believing that she had the book on her lap.

"I want you all to write about your favourite books," she said. Julian started writing chapter one, 'Down the Rabbit Hole', and got about half way through the chapter from memory before it was time to stop.

The teacher read it and said, "Have you got the book on your lap."

Julian was impressed by that.

"No," she said.

Wild Edible Weeds of the World

b



be it Australian, be it Japanese, be it French or be it Dutch. The list goes On.

Een Muzikale Wandeling

Een nog onbekende vertraging

And Once Upon A Time To Come

people had to swim to the raw food experience.

Next flood TBA

No-one is advised to rest on their laurels.

Twinnies and Me

Love.

True. Love.

"We love each other, do we."

Little kid on true love.

People Play in the Strangest Places. Strangely Empty Places.

Julian and William Walked (and walked and walked and walked) ...

William was walking Julian to Coogee from Tamarama, where William now lived. They were going to meet Tristan, a close relative. It was overcast and sprinked with light rain, on and off. Julian's legs were sore and she complained a little bit.
"What is this bit called," she asked.
"Quads, " William said.
"They hurt," Julian said. She had walked into the city the day before and swam laps at the Aquatic Centre, that she had noticed some years ago, but had only just managed to get to. The pool was good. Then she had walked back to Edgecliffe. People walk a lot in Sydney. If they take their cars, there is always a problem with parking. Julian had 2 parking tickets, worth $84 each, to prove it.

William became impatient with her.
"Say something interesting," she said, "I know there's someone interesting in there!"
The pressure was on. Julian was miffed. 'Walk with your father', she thought, 'he's obviously interesting'. She felt jealous and small, and walked in front without talking.

They later watched a movie which began with a beautiful woman telling a boy that he was beautiful. He then died and she went on to seduce a family man. His wife told her that she didn't admire her morals. It was back in the 1920's.

"Why are they so upset?" William asked Julian during the movie. It was a ballet back in Paris in the 1920's, and the music was like nothing that they had heard before. The audience were outraged.
"They haven't heard anything like it before," Julian said. "They were expecting something else."
"I liked it," William said, "but I guess I'm modern".

In The Search For

a decent pic for the www.bellingenlivingfoodsadhealth.com business card, Debs took this at a Nambucca Heads bbq in a fancy house which they rented for the weekend with their speed boat which they want to sell and the littlest girl is doing her best to eat large amounts of greens in order to follow suit, bless her little cotton socks. Conversation:-
"Have you finished." (greens appear to be left over on her plate, and the salad bowls are empty).
"I might be."
"Can I have that?"
"Not yet," she said, as she unenthusiastically nibbled at another leaf of mesculun lettuce.

and during the latest Sydney experience with son and his girl, they were served cocktails by a boy who used to be at school with son and who was working around the corner from the Nepalese restaurant where they were going to eat. A varying assortment arrived, including the Japanese soy beans and a plate of lotus and pink salt and a small selection of sake, Ben did us, proud. As they were leaving, after having sampled all and sundry, Julian sucked out the last of the passionfruit which sat in the fancy pineapple cocktail in front of his girl, in honour of the way we share our foods.

Stanislaw Posts and Saxon Edits...

Saxon Cheng was a journalist of some note. He had stumbled upon a story about a Polish man who went into the thieving trade. This story was hot off the press, it being the 12th April, 2010 and all, like, just yesterday!

Stanislaw Muchy was admittedly Polish, and obviously so. He was a clever boy and had worked out how to steal from large businesses and corporations. He would post himself to the buildings. Come nightfall, he would climb out of the large box and burgle. He is only 39 years old. How did he get away? Simply by posting himself and his stolen wares out again, addressed to his home in Warsaw. It seemed infallible.

So what went wrong?

He had an argument with his freind who did the posting. Not so wise for such a clever fellow. It was his friend who delivered him, in his beautiful cardboard box, to the couriers. His best mate went to the police.

Story Pending, and hoping to include the nationality of Saxon.

Ingenuous Is Not Such a Bad Thing

Julian believed in being ingenuous. It suited her purposes, but some saw it as naive and 'how can you be so stupid?" Her conversation with Sunshine Dermic in the Federal Hotel, over the jazz, had been carefully considered, but Julian followed her instincts on many occasions, and this was one. That, along with her intuition had stood her in good stead over the years.

Nevertheless, Mary Hitler was understandably upset.
"She slept with my husband and tried to steal him and my perfect family, how could you?"

Julian had no answer. She just knew that Sunshine the Second had entered into her life and had a bit part.

Julian was surprised to see that Mary had spelled 'insouciantly' with an 'e'. It brought back to mind a young boy called Ian at Primary school, where Julian stepped in to do the bible teaching. How do you spell your name, he asked.
"D. E. N. E. N. E."
"Way too many 'e's', I don't like e's," he said.

Julian rather liked 'e's and so found that interesting and memorable. Ian was now very tall and much, much older. He lived in Toowoomba, but she saw him last Sunday. She was sitting next to a 12 year old who had told her that he didn't believe in God.
"You're brave," she said and then told him the story about the 'e's' because Ian was sitting just in front of them.
He laughed and thought it was pretty good.

IN.GEN.UOUS

1. free from reserve, restraint or dissimulation; candid; sincere.

IN.SOU.CI.ANT

1. free from concern, worry, or anxiety; carefree; nonchalant.
lighthearted, debonair, jaunty, breezy.

Values Reflect on your Upbringing and Real Freindships Last Forever

William Horse, ready to go. He is wearing his beautifully made Lemetex, which, I believe, is Swiss. We didn't know about the Tenterfield Saddler at the time, which seems hard to believe, as we live just up the road. We spent months agonising over his back, which has a particularly high wither (backbone) and therefore the need for a well fitting saddle. He has also been carelessly treated in the past, with the saddle being banged onto his sensitive back by previous uncaring owners. Now, he is comfortable.

His face shows the scarring from the incredible summer heat and insects which makes him itchy so he scratches against trees and anything else. Now, the weather is cooler and his face can heal.

"Making a quality saddle requires meticulous skill and above all, patience. After 130+ years, all the devotion and skills passed down from saddler to saddler and generation to generation are now being applied to the creation of Tenterfield's own clothing and accessories brand. The historic Tenterfield Saddler, after serving the community in saddlery needs since 1870, now offers a wide range of quality merchandise with one exceptional difference:"

Everything is made to last.

SOME THINGS SPEAK DIRECTLY
TO THE SOUL

TRADITION HAS NO SUBSTITUTE

Used to be you could find products that reflected the lives of their makers and lasted a lifetime....

	How long will things last? A good pair of jeans seems to last forever....Depending how well you treat them. A handcrafted leather saddle will last as long as you want it, too....Maybe longer than both your horse and your ability to get on a horse....When I was a young bloke, Church seemed to last forever and good times went quicker than last weeks pay packet.

"Values reflect on your upbringing and real Friendships last forever".

Your Tenterfield Saddler Products will last as long as you want, with some becoming a family heirloom....these are the things that matter to me.

So, in time when one is just a memory of the past and a new generation captures the passion and vision anew, it may be said with pride....

"My Grandfather made that. He was the Tenterfield Saddler"

and then there was Lemetex....Our new flexible spring tree combined with AWD Memoryflex panels adapts to any horse’s back and eliminates pressure points. It offers freedom of movement and facilitates your aids. These high quality saddles feature our steel-reinforced spring tree for strength and shape retention. It allows the saddle to flex at any place along its entire length to accommodate the movement of the horse. Your knees and thighs find the necessary contact to the horse. Wool flocked panels hand stuffed by experts distribute the pressure and weight evenly over a large area to keep the horse’s back sound.

Julian's horse guru had recommended it, as she had the breed of horse. So, Julian listened and followed and believed.

Mind you, if she had known about the Tenterfield Saddler, and realised how 'fantastic' the Aussie brumby was....................

She could do what 'The Man from Susan River' could do. Ride into the lounge room full of people and recite 'The Man From Snowy River'. It had been an achievable goal, but without the horse.

She would have to make do with reciting the poem under the outback stars around the fire. After a day 'noodling' on the mullock heaps. Back to the sadde.

Designed for the horse's physique and always conforms to the true shoulder angles. This enhances the performance, as the horse is able to more freely use its full range of motion.

The hand flocked gusseted WOOL PANELS with a wide and deep channel distribute the weight evenly and eliminate pressure points. This allows the horse to work from behind and through his back to achieve the desired rounded outline.

For the BERNINA'S, we use the very finest, full grain leather, soft and supple to the touch. Exceptional durability, long a Lemetex trademark, is therefore guaranteed. The supportive deep seat with a narrow twist affords the ultimate comfort and balance, and facilitates a smooth transition to the flaps.

Anatomically sculpted thigh blocks offer security and support a proper sitting position. Our new stabilizing billet strap design prevents saddle slippage.

Cor, lumey. You'd think she'd be able to ride by now.

Brett and the Western Australian Croc

make that Western Australia...

Brett and the Queensland Croc

Friend of mine in a tinny (boat) in Queensland finds a croc on the end of his line.

Didn't pull him in because he was on his own.

"Too difficult," he said.

Just Another Flood

The rain came down. It was heavy and cold. The SES (State Emergency Services) were out in full force ensuring that people were ok. THe guy in the truck wasn't. It took an axe to smash through the cab to get him out before he drowned. The water was filling the cab fast and he was in deep trouble. It shook both of them up as they looked death in the face.

Not just another day in Bellingen.

Just another flood.

Partners In Crime.

The Abraham Moss playing fields in Crumpsall were the scene of a petty crime this week. A 17 year old boy suffered a fractured skull for the sake of 11 pounds. He was beaten about the head and body with a metal bar and a chair leg and stripped naked.

Meanwhile, a man had died peacefully in his sleeping bag in Ausewell Woods in Ashburton. Unfortunately, he had not been found for quite some time, and then by workers who were clearing the woodlands. He was a skeleton at the time. The post mortem will be carried out sooner rather than later.

"Damn Asian news," said mummy, as she surfed the telly onto a German newsreader, and discovered that Dutch readers had not developed a taste for tabloid sensationalism.

The Unbloggable

Mary Hitler, who had danced the night away at the Fed. one night, and Julian had introduced her to Nicholas, wanted to blog about the fact that Julian, in her much younger days had spent an evening with Angus Young, of AC/DC fame. Julian had been working at a nightclub at the time, she was 17, and the nightclub was called Tramps.

She lived with a stylish young woman at the time, very intelligent, who worked in a bookshop during the day. Julian worked in a restaurant. At night, they worked at Tramps. Judy was front of house and Julian tramped the floors, delivering drinks to all and sundry. Until she was offered the job of DJ, which she of course accepted.

She had met many interesting people whilst there, and, unfortunately, hadn't recognised that becoming too intimate was not such a good idea.

Hence, a night with Angus Young, of which she was not proud.

Mary liked to tell the story to whoever would listen, but without identifying the protagonists, except for Angus, of course.

"Watch out for Mary Hitler," Julian had spoken warningly to Nicholas.
"Mary is trouble?" Nicholas asked.
Julian didn't answer.

She now had a dilemma. There were so many unbloggable things that they were building up.

She had been to the jazz on Wednesday. And couldn't talk about seeing and talking to the 'other' woman who had tried to steal one of her freinds husband's. They had had a long affair, bamboozling family and friends for some time.

Her mummy had come to visit and she had spent $1,500 fixing the emotional button pushing, which had worked. They had been out to lunch because it was Julian's birthday, which Julian didn't celelabrate, and it had cost Julian more than what mummy was prepared to pay. She had also been to dinner with two 50 year old virgins.
"Do you want to marry?" Julian had asked one of them.
"Of course," she paused, "I'm not a stone woman," she said.

Two Strong, Powerful and strange Dreams

OR,

A Pair of Cads

(otherwise known as Caddees)


"You frighten people," Stuart told her, "you like them too much."
"Oh." said Julian. She really didn't mean it. She didn't want anything physical, just liking in return. Nothing physical, nothing more than communication, acceptance, and the recognition of beauty. Or charm. Nothing to fear, no stalking, no demanding, just admiration and connection. Sexless and ageless and timeless.

Julian had had 2 strong dreams. In one she had been told that she had to kill her baby. She thought of varous ways that she could do this, because she trusted these people, and wanted to kill the baby without pain. Meanwhile, the baby toddled over to her and kissed her on the lips. The First Kiss. She decided that she wasn't going to kill the baby.

Dream Two. A husband entered into an auction for a beautiful girl for the night. A crowded room, the girl was brought in on a cart, and money changed hands.
"Do you mind," he said,
"Um," Julian said.
He paid the money and slept with the girl.
Julian was ropeable. she left, moving through the crowd of people, and headed for the car where she intended driving away. This Was It.

She thought of Dave. He was a student at Hippocrates. Generally speaking, after 8 pm the students were very tired because of the detox, so Julian knew that she could go into the steam room completely naked and be alone. This night, in came Dave. He was a true Gentleman and immediately averted his eyes.
"Pass my dressing gown please," which he did.
She went back suitably attired and they talked of cabbages and kings and sealing wax and things and she loved him.
He was interested and then discovered that she was married and was silently cross with her, thinking her disloyal. She never saw him again.

Somebody told me.
Could it be true.

And Anand had posted on his site the news that a raw food restaurant had opened in Byron Bay.